The other day I was driving to work contemplating various aspects of Buddhism when I devised a small experiment for myself. The night before as I drifted off to sleep I was listening to the rain. My mind was trying to decide if it was good or bad that it was raining when I sleepily decided that it was really neither. This got my Buddhist brain working and asked “Well if it is neither good nor bad, then what is it?” Rain. A simple answer, but not satisfying enough. Since even the word “rain” has it’s own connotations associated with it, each of which may be different for every person, this still leads the mind to try and quantify rain as something positive or negative. My brain then asks, “If you remove the label that you have given it so that it has no more connotations what is it?” It just is. A simple answer and appropriately profound for my tired brain.
The next morning I began to think more in depth on the previous night’s contemplation, but with a clearer mind. As I thought about how all words carry connotations of positive, negative, or neutral, I realized that in our everyday lives we constantly shape our reactions and moods, often by a single word.
We casually assign complex emotions or responses, often with a powerful effect, by condensing it down to a single word. Expressing our feelings or interest with single words like cool, sucks, awful or awesome compress our more complicated thoughts and feelings down so that the effect of the word is more profound on our interactions with others and our world. This charges these emotions or thoughts making them more volatile creating inflated senses of very positive or very negative which causes us to dwell on the situations that elicited the response thereby causing attachment.
This line of thought led me to try an experiment with myself. For the rest of that day I would fully formulate my thoughts and remove single word responses that carry such heavy positive or negative connotations. Instead of responses like “That’s cool,” I would fully expound the idea, “That is a really practical and innovative idea that should prove beneficial.” Though it seems a little tedious it was not too hard to get into the swing of things. When I slipped back into my usual diction, I would stop and revise the statements and then continue on with my day.
The results were interesting. I discovered that I often used single word responses to address various situations both positive and negative throughout the course of my day. I realized that I used far more words that carry a negative connotation than I did those with a positive connotation. I also realized that my day was more even tempered. By forcing my brain to fully expound on and describe its feeling or response, I knew exactly how I felt about the situation and could then dismiss it and let it go in a logical manner. When normally using a single word to describe how I feel, my brain would not analyze it and let it go it would latch on to the powerful emotion of the charged word and though I let the situation pass on, it would latch on to that powerful emotion or feeling and keep it prominently in my mind.
Though this was a simple impromptu experiment, I feel I learned some valuable things about myself and how easy it is to let powerfully emotive words reinforce attachment to situations. By taking a step back and fully expounding on the ideas it allowed me to see situations for what they are and let them pass on. Perhaps some of you will attempt this same experiment. It is simple to do and can go on for as long a period of time as you want. If you do conduct this experiment on your own, feel free to share your thoughts and results here.
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Melissa Laycock - October 19, 2009 6:32 pm
is this to be continued?
Da Shi Xiong Matt Talbert - October 19, 2009 7:30 pm
I will attempt to continue my mindfulness with words and I have another article planned that hopefully will look a little deeper into how words shape how we look at the world around us.
Nathaniel Mitchell - October 20, 2009 8:31 am
Can't leave it like that – work faster!!
Melissa Laycock - October 21, 2009 12:00 am
I think someone came up with this concept before you :)"When people see some things as beautiful,other things become ugly.When people see some things as good,other things become bad.Being and non-being create each other.Difficult and easy support each other.Long and short define each other.High and low depend on each other.Before and after follow each other.Therefore the Masteracts without doing anythingand teaches without saying anything.Things arise and she lets them come;things disappear and she lets them go.She has but doesn't possess,acts but doesn't expect.When her work is done, she forgets it.That is why it lasts forever."Chapter 2 Tao Te Ching
Da Shi Xiong Matt Talbert - October 22, 2009 9:09 am
The concept of non-attachment has been around forever in both Buddhist and Daoist tradition. I don’t claim to have discovered it, I just thought this was an interesting experiment to try for myself. The experiment is even so simple that I doubt I’m the first to think of or practice that either ;-)
Theresa Spinali - October 22, 2009 12:47 pm
I work at the front desk of a very busy Veterinary Practice and sometimes I get tired of all the talking, but I am very interested to see how this will change some of the exchanges I have everyday with the clients I speak with. This has peaked my curiosity. I will keep you informed as to what I experience.
Melissa Laycock - October 22, 2009 9:04 pm
i totally know and was just teasing you. It is an interesting experiment but for the life of me can't think of any time I don't absolutely love the sound of rain when I am falling asleep. So I guess I fail the non attachment aspect of it all. But sometimes it is very nice to be attached to things :)
Da Shi Xiong Matt Talbert - October 23, 2009 8:41 am
Non-attachment does not mean you cannot enjoy something. I really enjoy falling asleep to the sound of rain drumming on the roof and windows. Instead it just means that when it is present you do not get too caught up in the happiness it brings, and that when it is gone it does not create a lot of distress.